Looking through the forums recently, we chanced upon a thread entitled “Unable to carry their body weight (too heavy)” in which the original poster complained that whilst he enjoyed social dancing in clubs, he had recently encountered many ladies who “are unable to carry their own weight while dancing…” and who appeared to be “unaware of the ‘body weight movement problem’.” As a result, this young man, who had become a popular dance partner for these such ladies, found that dancing with these ladies was like dancing with elephant or hippopotamus.”
Needless to say, this post has put the “cat amongst the pigeons” or would that be the “Hippopotamus amongst the Prehistoric Giant Elephant Birds”. Either way the replies to this the initial posts have included optional “get out of dancing lines and excuses” as well as possible methods for trying to advise these ladies on how to improve their “technique” and we have been reading them all with some interest.
So, what is the answer? In fact, IS THERE AN ANSWER? Well, yes, of sorts.
The plain and simple AND UNAVOIDABLE truth is that there will always be people who will dance is a way that shows that they “are unable to carry their own weight while dancing…”.
For a start, our scene attracts people of all ages and all shapes and sizes (and long may it do so) and different people live life at different speeds. Whilst teaching classes we are often amused to meet students who ask us why it is that they can’t seem to make a specific “move” look like a specific teacher does in his/her class or on their DVD. Of course, this in itself is not amusing, but it becomes so when the teacher in question is nearly seven foot tall with the wingspan of an albatross whilst the student asking the question is a vertically challenged 5footer with a “midget” for a dance partner.
Joking apart, you would be surprised at how often people do not understand that different moves suit different people. It is just a reality that you have to be aware of as a dancer. In fact, this knowledge will help to make you a better dancer because then you can seek out ways of getting round any difficulties and improving your techniques.
It is also a quirk of our club-based scene that people do not appreciate the true meaning of the term Dance-Fit. As you get older you can’t run as far or as fast as you did when you were at your peak – a life fact so why do so many of us question this as we get older on the dancefloor and we can no longer dance all night without the use of an oxygen tank, a seriously large drink and a small sit down. By the same token, if you put on weight, you will not be able to move as fast as you did when in perfect dance condition – it should be obvious – BUT IT’S NOT, apparently.
At the other extreme, many followers do not realise that being ultra-thin presents its own problems since their weight distribution on a fashionable size-zero body can mean that they spin off balance a bit like a top as it comes to the end of its run, wobbles and falls over.
So, what are we saying. Well, first we are saying that we must, none of us, set “goals” or “objectives” for our partner and expect them to meet these targets – at least of course that is until we dance with them AND, even then, the ultimate objective should be that we have the best dance possible (both of us) with that specific person at that moment in time. Once you know a person as a dancer, you should have an idea of what is possible with them. If you truly believe that a little simple advice might benefit this person then:
1. Seek out the advice of a teacher/trainer who does actually know what they are talking about (the subject of another forum article we think) and ask them for advice. Perhaps even ask if they will advise the partner in question.
2. If you have chosen to approach the subject with your partner yourself, then OFFER the advice, explain that you enjoy dancing with them and would love to enjoy dancing with them even more (you may also have to explain that this is not a come-on at this point). Then, simply state that occasionally the “hold” feels a little strong and that it means that some moves would not be “available” or “leadable” (which by the way is true in certain situations) and just offer to demonstrate what you mean regarding the hold.
3. DO NOT DO THIS LAST ITEM ON THE DANCE FLOOR DURING A DANCE!, Because this will alienate the partner even more and make them more resistant to any further suggestions.
Bear in mind that as you practice this more with each partner (finding the tension and strength levels required) you will find a balance point in terms of your lead strength also. As you tense up, she will relax and then may even become overly weak; as you relax she may tense up. With time, you will find a better match.
And remember one last thing. Even if you help all these such partners of yours, there will always be BEGINNERS. You cannot avoid dancing with them, NOR SHOULD you! They need help from better dancers just like you did when you were starting and, hopefully, one day they too will give you many great “HIPPO-FREE” dances.